So after the fantastic results I had experienced from Dr Joe Dispenza’s meditations, I found that my confidence was at an all time high and I felt as if I was able to conquer what ever challenge may arise. It’s no wonder really, as after experiencing very few migraines (and the one’s I did have were so incredibly mild), I finally began to feel like I was the one in control again, and I was no longer the puppet in this never-ending game.
That said, me and the girls I went to college with who I have remained friends with after all these years, had been planning a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate all of our 30th birthdays together. For a long time during the lead up I didn’t think it would be possible for me to attend, but since starting Dr Joe’s meditations I had this new-found confidence that assured me that I could do this. I felt empowered and like I could conquer absolutely anything I set my mind to so as long as I kept my meditations up and I didn’t lose focus. From then on most of my meditations were concentrated around picturing myself with the girls in Vegas enjoying every single second like a “normal” person would. I saw us out in packed clubs dancing the night away to Calvin Harris, in uncontrollable fits of laughter as we usually are and sunning ourselves with a cocktail in hand at various pool parties. Oh unfortunately how wrong I would be…
My journey started in Dubai in what would be one hell of a journey. It didn’t really hit me until I gazed at my onboard screen that I was literally flying half way around the world! With 15 hours 20 minutes minuets as the flight time, I settled into my seat and took the journey in my stride. After three-hour long meditations, several naps and way too much aeroplane food later, I arrived in Los Angeles completely headache free! I couldn’t believe it! Feeling proud of myself and full of confidence for the week ahead I waited in the hustle and bustle of the busy LAX airport for my lovely friend Sarah to pick me up.
Considering there was an eleven hour time difference I actually managed to get a full nights sleep on the first night which I believed would greatly set me up for the day ahead. As we headed into LA and cruised around viewing the sights, I started to feel that ominous feeling come over me, that feeling that I truly dread. Yes, it was my worst fear coming to fruition. A migraine! That evening as I lay tucked up in bed, the tears uncontrollably ran down my face as all I could feel was disappointment throughout my body. With Vegas just three days away it suddenly dawned on me that maybe this wouldn’t be the trip I had played out in my meditations over and over again.
For the next few days I’ll be honest, I really struggled. I don’t know if it’s just me or if other migraineurs can relate to this, but when I am in an attack I feel I just want to be at home in my safe cocoon of a house with all the comforting essentials necessary to see me through the pain. I didn’t deal with the situation very well and I feel I put my family and husband through a lot of stress worrying about me. I am really going to try in future to deal with situations better on my own as it’s not fair on them. However my friends were there to look after me and nothing was too much trouble for them. It’s times like that you really know who your true friends are.
So the day had arrived. Las Vegas here we come! Feeling as if I was now in the post migraine stage I felt positive as we left for the airport. At just an hours flight down the road surely this was going to be pretty straight forward and headache free? However by the time we arrived and had battled the TSA cue’s and I had navigated finding my friend after arriving in different terminals, we finally arrived (in what weirdly felt like a long day) at the beautiful Palazzo hotel in the heart of the strip. The energy and buzz felt exactly how I remembered it from all those years ago of endless trips here from my flying days as cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic. What amazing memories I had made over the years! As the evening approached and we sat on our beds gossiping and catching up, it started to dawn on me that there was no way I would be able to go out tonight with the girls. The pain started to worsen and the pulsing in my head just reaffirmed to myself that it was going to be a night in for one! Disappointed of course, I donned my PJs’ as I heard the girls discussing their outfit choices and shoe options as I tried to drift off to sleep, whilst feeling as though I had failed once again.
The next morning to my dismay, the pain was still there. Not sure whether this was the normal post migraine neck and shoulder tension, I set off to try to find a cheap massage somewhere nearby. With the temperature outside at 45 degree’s, the smoky packed casino’s surrounding me and what felt like a mile walk to remotely get some kind of food that wouldn’t cause me another migraine, I started to panic that maybe Las Vegas wasn’t the right place for me. I had come to realise, only through taking this trip on that there are certain things I still need to maintain my health. For example, the ability to cook my migraine free food and avoid takeaways, a full eight hours of sleep a night, time to meditate and a space to myself so I can take time-out when I need it. Suddenly with the pain worsening and feeling so far away from home, I wondered what the hell I had been thinking? I guess if I hadn’t tried it I would have always been wondering “what if”? I have learnt over the past few years that sometimes you need to take a leap in to the unknown and step outside of your comfort zone, but unfortunately this was a few steps too far.
After the weekend in Vegas my confidence was at it lowest possible. I felt I had completely failed and the trip that I played over in my mind couldn’t have been further away from reality I endured. I even found myself feeling angry at Dr Joe as I felt he installed this unwavering belief in me that anything was possible, but in reality it wasn’t. I felt like he had lied to me. From then on I really struggled to do my meditations and even now I am finding hard to connect in them. I am hoping I will get this back overtime when I start to see some improvement in my health again. As other migraineurs will understand, after a bad period it takes time to build your confidence up again and that’s exactly how I feel now. Will I be able to get back to the great place I was in before I left? I’m honestly not sure right now, but I hope so. I am trying each day to get there but I am still suffering so it’s hard to stay positive sometimes.
Despite this, I did my best to enjoy the moments that I could and simply laugh with the girls. On the last night we had a birthday party in our room and decorated the place with streamers and balloons. As I helped the girls get ready for the night ahead I found myself smiling to myself and thinking just how lucky I am to have such incredibly supportive friends and family that love me no matter what. Headache or no headache! They love me for me.
It’s in tough times that you learn who your true friends are!
Love you all Britter’s and happy 30th birthday to us! We missed you Ione, Danielle and Lauren. Here’s to another 10 years of friendship together!
#MyJourney #Travel #Migraine #LasVegas #UpsAndDowns #Friends #LosAngeles