Ok, so picture this. You get diagnosed with a chronic condition, are told that you would just have to learn to live with the pain, lose your dream job, suffer relentless years of pain and anxiety, lose friends, and the amazing life you once had.
However years later, after regaining your health, finding a new passion, a job that you adore more than the one you had, having a new level of gratitude and appreciation for everything in life, travelling the world again and having everything you could ever want in your life and one hundred’s times more- You find it hard to accept your new found happiness!
I know, strange right? You would think that once it arrives you would take to it like a duck to water.
Unfortunately for me, it’s been a bit of a challenge.
Don’t get me wrong, I cannot explain to you how incredible it feels to have everything that I have worked so hard for and I am overwhelmingly happy right now, but recently I have found myself picking fights for no reason, making a drama out of absolutely nothing and creating stress.
Why? Meet my old friend self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage creeps up in the dark and tries to go unnoticed. It loves to sidetrack you just as life seems to be going well and knock you off course. However fortunately for me, along this healing journey I have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, so as soon as the self-sabotage behaviours started to kick in, I noticed them and could do something about them.
I found myself journaling on this and digging deeper which helped me make some important discoveries.
So these are reasons why, in my opinion, we struggle to choose happiness and joy.
As simple as that. When you have experienced something for a long time, even if it is a painful chronic illness, it’s comfortable, and we humans love routine and familiarity. Change is scary, even when it’s a positive change. So sometimes we naturally head back to what we know and what feels comfortable to us, even if in my case it is drama, negativity and unhappy emotions.
As much as we say that we deserve happiness, do we truly and deeply feel that we deserve it? Because if we do not believe that we are worthy of happiness and joy then when it arrives, subconsciously we are most likely going to sabotage ourselves because of our inner beliefs.
For me, I know that I am worthy of happiness and I am worthy of joy, however, deep down, I’ll be honest, I know I struggle with self-worth and this stems from never feeling good enough compared to those around me. This is something that I still need to work on.
When everything in your life starts going well and you have this new found happiness, part of you may start to fear that your new-found happiness may disappear at any time! What if something awful happens? What if suddenly I get sick again? What if someone in my family gets sick?
I think we self-sabotage out of fear of something going wrong. Surely life can’t be this good? Which is crazy I know, however, I am learning to let go of the fear (anxiety) and deal with every new day at it comes and be in the moment.
Yes, life really is this beautiful, if I just allow it to be.
Do you think that you could be self-sabotaging your joy or happiness? I’d love for you to share so I don’t feel like the only crazy person here. lol
#Joy #IINHealthCoach #MigraineFree #Healed #SelfSabotage